last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
