we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
