I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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