i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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