Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
