You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
