was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
