I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
