Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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