i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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