He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
