I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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