I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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