I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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