At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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