Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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