could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
40s are totally the cure
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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