Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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