Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
