I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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