I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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