You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
