Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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