Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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