Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
