all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize