Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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