All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
