I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
