so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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