Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
