We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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