They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
