yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just pynch a tree in the face
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
