I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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