around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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