ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
