Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
