I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
