you would pick up someone in the library
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ugly people sure do ruin things
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
