well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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