turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
