So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
