Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
