His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
