Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
