Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
