idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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