Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
