thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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