NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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