so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
its not stalking. its research.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
