Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
