I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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