How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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