weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
