i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
