can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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