Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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