True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
