Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just invented taco cereal.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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